The Critic Evicted from His Own Brain

for Damien

hard to say
if things have been any worse
well not more annoying
a breaking man might break
things
i’ve never been a physical kind of chap
have i? hard to say i think i tried
you know those round things boys chuck it comes right here
up here they like that it’s incredible
monks never made me
perhaps you better go and read—that guy yes baudrillard
it doesn’t matter that will do—in french! ha
i used to have a kind of stride
a way of walking that worked
worked well i imagine
at least well enough for—
impossible to say really
putting stuff together at length
in a way connecting all the others not
rehashing all the stories
had to you see i could do that it paid quite well
good enough i suppose for what it was
now it’s gone never quite there
came across that chap in a box
handsome devil quite a bit of hair as well
looking over there like he knew a thing or two
if only he’d share it
realised it was me
you go in there
things that have never had words
know what they are chunks of thus and so
won’t turn into—
fucking annoying never get it
i know what it means
where i was going
gone before i get there—
early in the day
little birds i’d assume you might
i might have called them
sparrows or swallows if there is such a thing
fly all in the one direction
distribute themselves bip-bip bip-bip bip
while it’s cool i suppose
what am i trying to say
something if i have it right
presumably they do what their business might be
bird business cats and dogs and insects little things
monstrous business haha
little things fly back one assumes
later in the day but
i never see them never see
stand here looking little flag waving
walls and history
we occupy ourselves thus and thus
different times up there all pushed together
presumably they all come back later

never see them you see
i know that they do i can see that
i’m not an idiot i mean i always was
just which way is hard to say
perhaps i did once i get that
i’m not stupid ha
perhaps i did